


First Best Christmas

by Sexy_Avengers17



Series: A Merry Winterhawk Christmas [6]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Christmas, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Clint Barton-centric, Deaf Clint Barton, Hurt Clint Barton, M/M, POV Bucky Barnes, Protective Bucky Barnes, winterhawk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 18:00:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17208227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sexy_Avengers17/pseuds/Sexy_Avengers17
Summary: Bucky is eager to spend Christmas with everyone, specially Clint. He’s surprised when Clint apparently doesn’t want to spend it with anyone else.





	First Best Christmas

**Bucky**

The last good Christmas Bucky had had been years ago, so he was kind of excited about this year’s celebration.

The year had been a rough one after coming out of Hydra’s grasp, but Bucky was willing to let that go so he could have a nice time with everyone.

He was also excited about something else. Bucky was going to try and ask Clint in a date after crushing on him for some months.

Bucky walked into his and Clint’s floor to find the archer putting away some stuff in a duffel bag. A duffel bag he usually used for traveling.

“Where are you going?” Bucky asked with a frown. It was already late to go out.

Clint turned to him before continuing to put away clothes. “Nowhere special,” he said shortly.

Bucky noticed he didn’t take his bow, meaning he must definitely have one there. So someplace close that he trusted.

“What about Christmas?” Bucky asked softly. He had really wanted to spend time with Clint. “You can’t leave on Christmas Eve.”

Clint sighed but still picked his duffel back. “I’ll be back tomorrow,” he said. “Merry Christmas, Buck.”

Bucky wanted to follow Clint down the elevator, but something stopped him. This wasn’t anything like the Clint he knew. Then again, he had known him for less than a year.

There was someone who knew him for a longer time though. Bucky took the stairs over to Nat’s floor and knocked on her door.

Bucky walked in to find her sitting at the couch with a cup of hot chocolate.

“What’s up?” she asked, turning the tv off. Bucky took a seat next to her.

“It’s about Clint,” he started. Immediately, Nat turned to stare at her hands. “He left.”

“He... he does that every Christmas.” Nat shrugged nonchalantly, but Bucky could see the sadness in her stance.

“But why?” Bucky continued. Nat stayed quiet for some moments.

She shook her head. “I can’t tell you that,” Nat said apologetically.

Bucky groaned. “There is something you could at least tell me, Nat.”

“You gotta ask him yourself,” she said. After a sigh she added, “he’s at his apartment in Bed Stuy. It’s apartment H.”

Bucky nodded and thanked her. After getting in a hoodie, he took a cab over to the address Nat had given him.

It gave him some time to think. This apartment was something new to him. Clint had never mentioned it. Bucky ignored the pang of disappointment in him. He had thought Clint trusted him just as much as he trusted him.

Bucky paid and got down in front of a four story building. Once inside he searched for apartment H and found it on the top floor.

He knocked softly and waited. No one answered. Maybe Clint had gone somewhere else this time.

Bucky was about to leave when he heard a faint noise inside. He knocked again.

“Clint it’s me,” Bucky said softly. “Can I come in?”

He heard a groan. “Why are you here?” Clint muttered. “Did Nat send you?”

“No,” Bucky answered. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. It’s Christmas, you shouldn’t be alone.”

The other side was silent for some seconds. “It’s open.”

Bucky walked in into the apartment. It was exactly like you expected Clint Barton’s room place to be. Arrows everywhere, pizza boxes on the floor and a complete mess in general.

What he didn’t expect was for Clint to be lying down in his couch with many bottles of scotch around him.

“Clint what’s happening?” Bucky asked. He picked all the bottles and put them away, including the one Clint had in his hand.

Clint groaned at that, but still didn’t raise his face from where it was hiding on the sofa.

“It doesn’t matter,” he answered. Now that it was clearer, Bucky could hear the slur in Clint’s voice. Bucky sighed.

“Please talk to me, Clint,” Bucky continued. “You’re worrying me.” He sat down cross-legged on the floor near the couch and started passing a hand softly over Clint’s hair.

After some moments of that Clint turned to face him. His eyes were red from crying and tears still stained his cheeks. Bucky’s heart broke at seeing Clint like this. He didn’t deserve to feel sad.

“Aw, please don’t cry.” Bucky carefully cleaned the tears away. “You don’t deserve to be sad on Christmas, Clint, please talk to me.”

“That’s the problem,” Clint whispered hoarsely. “It’s Christmas.”

Oh. So Clint didn’t—he didn’t like Christmas. Bucky wasn’t going to press on the matter though, if Clint wanted him to know he would tell him.

“Would you mind me staying over so you aren’t alone?” Bucky asked. Clint nodded and at last sat up.

“I’m so drunk,” Clint muttered with a groan. Bucky went to get an aspirin and some water for Clint. He drank them up and stood up wobbly. “I think imma lie down. I’m not in the mood for putting up with myself.”

Clint tried walking towards the stairs but tripped, and Bucky caught him just in time. He helped Clint get to his room and change into comfier clothes.

Once he was about to turn off the lights and let him rest, Clint talked.

“Could you stay?”

Bucky turned around and noticed Clint’s pleading face. He nodded. Turning off the light, he carefully walked over to Clint’s bed and lied down.

He felt Clint take off his aids and turn around to nestle into him. “Thanks,” he whispered. Bucky hugged him closer and pressed a kiss to Clint’s hair.

Bucky waited until Clint’s breath evened out and started to fall asleep once he was sure Clint was okay.

*****

Bucky woke up to someone shaking slightly. He faintly made up Clint’s figure in the dark and noticed he was trembling while covering his head with his hands.

He was having a nightmare. Bucky turned on the lamp and sat up. He carefully shook Clint until he woke up.

Clint sat up instantly, breathing heavily and hands feeling his ears.

“I can’t hear,” he muttered. “I can’t hear, I can’t hear.”

Bucky sat in front of Clint and took his face carefully, but Clint’s eyes were distant.

“Mom...” he continued. “I can’t hear, I can’t fucking hear!”

Bucky grabbed Clint’s aids and tried to put them on, but Clint flinched away with the touch.

Clint covered his ears now and closed his eyes. Bucky carefully took his hands in his and made him look.

Once he had Clint’s attention he tapped his lips.

“Focus on me,” he said clear enough for Clint to lip read. “Breathe.”

At last, Clint seemed to calm down enough for Bucky to put in his aids.

“Bucky...” Clint whispered before crashing into him. Bucky held him close as he quietly sobbed.

After some minutes like that Clint managed to calm down. He took a deep breath and slowly came off Bucky, cleaning his face.

“Sorry for being such a mess,” Clint whispered. “You should leave before I ruin your Christmas too.”

Bucky shook his head. “I’m not leaving you, Clint,” he said, looking him directly in the eyes. “And I would really like to make your Christmas better, you just gotta tell me what’s going on.”

“You won’t leave?” Clint asked. Bucky shook his head. Clint took a deep breath. “Okay, I just... okay. The thing is Christmas has always been a bad time for me. My dad always got drunk, and Christmas just meant it got worse. One time it got out of hand, and he started beating my mom, and I interfered. That’s when he... he deafened me. He tried escaping with my mom thinking he had killed me, but he was too drunk and they crashed. They both died that day.”

Clint was back to silently crying, and Bucky hugged him closer again.

“It all happened today, years ago,” he whispered.

“Clint, I’m so sorry,” Bucky said softly. “I know you’re hurting right now and nothing will change that, but I promise you it will get better. You just gotta let us help you. Let me help you.”

Clint nodded softly against him. “Thanks, Bucky,” he said. “I would really... I would really like passing Christmas with all of you, for a change.”

Bucky smiled and nodded. “Tomorrow morning we’re going back to the tower, and you’re gonna open presents and have the best Christmas ever.”

Clint seemed to panic slightly at that. “I didn’t get anyone presents.”

“You don’t worry about that,” Bucky said with a chuckle. “With you there it’ll be enough.”

Clint smiled at him before deciding to go back to sleep. Bucky stayed there with him, making sure he was okay.

Next morning he texted everyone to wait for them for the unwrapping. Bucky showed Clint how eager they all were, making him blush at the attention.

“You look cute when you blush,” Bucky said softly, trying to flirt. Clint seemed flustered again. He groaned, making Bucky smile.

Once at the Tower everyone was happy to see Clint and engulfed him in hugs and presents. Clint seemed pretty invested in the Dog Cop comic Bucky got him and the plastic bow Stark made for him. Bucky couldn’t help the smile that won over him at seeing him so happy unlike how he had been yesterday.

“We’re having a party tonight,” Tony announced. “Everyone get ready for some Christmas celebration!”

Everyone seemed to like the idea and everything was settled. Through the whole day Bucky stayed by Clint’s side making sure he was alright.

They baked cookies with all the chocolate chips Clint wanted. When it started snowing they all went out and started snowball fighting and then came back in to make hot chocolate and watch Christmas specials.

All the while Clint’s smile never left his face, and Bucky found in himself it was the best gift Clint could’ve given him.

The whole night Clint’s mood didn’t change. He was as happy as ever, cracking jokes and dancing and being as joyful as ever through all of the party.

Later that night Bucky noticed Clint get away from the group and stand by the railing. Bucky followed him over.

“You okay?” Bucky asked quietly. Clint nodded.

“It’s just a bit overwhelming for being the first time,” he said.

“Oh,” Bucky said. “That’s fine, you can—“

“Would you dance with me?” Clint asked out of nowhere. Bucky stared at Clint dumbstruck for what must’ve been a lot of time.

“Yes,” he answered when he noticed Clint start to close again on the idea. “I would... I would love that.”

Clint lied his head on the crook of Bucky’s neck as they started moving slowly to the rhythm of a slow song, and they held each other close.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Bucky started slowly. Clint hummed expectantly, and Bucky gathered strength to continue. “Would you like to go on a date with me?” Bucky closed his eyes then, waiting for Clint’s answer.

“This isn’t because of the Christmas thingy, is it?” Clint asked quietly.

“No,” Bucky answered immediately. “I’ve been meaning to ask for months now.”

Clint separated from Bucky in order to throw his arms around his neck and look him directly in the eye. Bucky’s hands went to Clint’s hips, and they stood unbelievably closer together.

“I would totally like to go out with you,” Clint answered with a small smile. Bucky beamed back and tried to hide his excitement.

“Great! That’s great,” Bucky exclaimed. Clint chuckled softly before staring at him again.

“Bucky?” he said softly. Bucky observed Clint carefully as he quickly leaned in and pecked him in the lips, taking him by surprise. “Thanks for making this the best Christmas ever.”

“Anything for you, Clint,” Bucky whispered only for him. “You deserve to be happy.” He noticed Clint blush and gathered the strength one more time to lean in and kiss him again for longer seconds.

They separated moments after and stayed with their foreheads touching, still dancing to the rhythm of the song.


End file.
